I have been thinking to write my hijab story for quite sometime now. My journey has been a long one and still there is a lot more to go. But from where I stand today, I can tell you, it took me years to fully understand the meaning and importance of it and I am trying to get better and insha-Allah will reach there, the destination one day as well.
So, when and how did it all start? I grew a conscience of covering my head when I was around 15, but since none of my close friends and family wore any form of head covering, I had no idea about scarf. The only girls I saw wearing scarves in school either wore black or white ones and I found them quite unglamorous. In Pakistan, as it is a custom for women to cover their heads with dupatta (long scarf) but rather out of respect for elders such as father, uncles, grandparents etc than for religious reasons. Well, due to this conscience and in order to still look trendy I got myself a floppy hat and started wearing it to college and everywhere.
For two years, I kept it that way and then I got into engineering school and cherry on the top in mechanical engineering department, a department which is notoriously famous all over the world for lacking in number of female students. In a class of 70, we were only 5 girls and the first thing I noticed right on the first day was all the girls except for me wore hijab! I kept on wearing my hat and would take it off in the class but after a week or so, I started to consider the idea of wearing a scarf. I kept on weighing the pros and cons, one of the significant cons was money as I couldn't just go around in the same scarf everyday.... too embarrassing!
Anyway, I particularity got inspired by one of the girls, who is surprisingly the only one I am still friends with among those hijabis and gained the required confidence and wore a scarf to university on 1st Muharram 1427 (i.e. 2006).
However, even after all the effort, I didn't still understand hijab and the purpose of it much so I made sure to wear it only to university and avoided wearing to dinners and wedding parties. I even argued with my eldest bro when he pointed out the ridiculousness of the combination of head scarf with tight clothes and half sleeves. But by the 2nd quarter of next year, strangely I started to dislike showing my arms so I made sure to go for 3 quarters sleeves in new dresses and started wearing scarf to gatherings as well and even when na-mehrams would visit my house. And, around this time I faced the first wave of wrath of Pakistani society. Unfortunately, it is not expected of young women or the unmarried ones to become a bit too religiously inclined and it is considered enough if one fulfils the basics such as Salah, Fasting and yes!! no-haraam relationships. I continued in this confused state till 2009 and then finally decided to either wear loose clothes or Abaya and got all my formal wears altered to full sleeves. There were little hush hush whispers from relatives and older generation on my new look but on the contrary my generation rather appreciated it despite themselves being different. I got support from my parents as well except a bit of resistance at the beginning.
In Sept 2011, I went to Japan for postgraduate studies and honestly, I was a little unsure of the reaction people would give to a girl cladded in Abaya and so I decided to instead opt for modest dressing with proper head scarf. But when I was there, and experienced that no one was bothered by scarf or hijab or even if they were, they never said or expressed so, I decided to wear abaya again and got myself a few colored ones when I came back in spring break to Pakistan.
While I was in Japan, I always got positive reaction and mostly people appreciated how I was still sticking to values in a foreign land. Once I was at a lunch in a really nice restaurant and all of a sudden 3 elderly women came up to me and started inquiring about the scarf and showed curosity as to how I had tied it and in the end even ended up requesting me to show them, which I eventually did in the ladies room. :) In total, Japan's experience was really beautiful.
I have been Alhamdulillah since then wearing hijab. Occasionally, I dress up as well but modestly. I love wearing colored hijabs, I also apply makeup on and off but natural looking and nothing flashy so I don't end up attracting people.
I am still not perfect but the road is long and I am sure I will be there one day and hope that day comes soon insha-Allah. And by this I don't only mean hijab in terms of what I wear or what I show, it is about the renovation of the whole personality and making my faith stronger.
So, when and how did it all start? I grew a conscience of covering my head when I was around 15, but since none of my close friends and family wore any form of head covering, I had no idea about scarf. The only girls I saw wearing scarves in school either wore black or white ones and I found them quite unglamorous. In Pakistan, as it is a custom for women to cover their heads with dupatta (long scarf) but rather out of respect for elders such as father, uncles, grandparents etc than for religious reasons. Well, due to this conscience and in order to still look trendy I got myself a floppy hat and started wearing it to college and everywhere.
For two years, I kept it that way and then I got into engineering school and cherry on the top in mechanical engineering department, a department which is notoriously famous all over the world for lacking in number of female students. In a class of 70, we were only 5 girls and the first thing I noticed right on the first day was all the girls except for me wore hijab! I kept on wearing my hat and would take it off in the class but after a week or so, I started to consider the idea of wearing a scarf. I kept on weighing the pros and cons, one of the significant cons was money as I couldn't just go around in the same scarf everyday.... too embarrassing!
Anyway, I particularity got inspired by one of the girls, who is surprisingly the only one I am still friends with among those hijabis and gained the required confidence and wore a scarf to university on 1st Muharram 1427 (i.e. 2006).
However, even after all the effort, I didn't still understand hijab and the purpose of it much so I made sure to wear it only to university and avoided wearing to dinners and wedding parties. I even argued with my eldest bro when he pointed out the ridiculousness of the combination of head scarf with tight clothes and half sleeves. But by the 2nd quarter of next year, strangely I started to dislike showing my arms so I made sure to go for 3 quarters sleeves in new dresses and started wearing scarf to gatherings as well and even when na-mehrams would visit my house. And, around this time I faced the first wave of wrath of Pakistani society. Unfortunately, it is not expected of young women or the unmarried ones to become a bit too religiously inclined and it is considered enough if one fulfils the basics such as Salah, Fasting and yes!! no-haraam relationships. I continued in this confused state till 2009 and then finally decided to either wear loose clothes or Abaya and got all my formal wears altered to full sleeves. There were little hush hush whispers from relatives and older generation on my new look but on the contrary my generation rather appreciated it despite themselves being different. I got support from my parents as well except a bit of resistance at the beginning.In Sept 2011, I went to Japan for postgraduate studies and honestly, I was a little unsure of the reaction people would give to a girl cladded in Abaya and so I decided to instead opt for modest dressing with proper head scarf. But when I was there, and experienced that no one was bothered by scarf or hijab or even if they were, they never said or expressed so, I decided to wear abaya again and got myself a few colored ones when I came back in spring break to Pakistan.
While I was in Japan, I always got positive reaction and mostly people appreciated how I was still sticking to values in a foreign land. Once I was at a lunch in a really nice restaurant and all of a sudden 3 elderly women came up to me and started inquiring about the scarf and showed curosity as to how I had tied it and in the end even ended up requesting me to show them, which I eventually did in the ladies room. :) In total, Japan's experience was really beautiful.
I have been Alhamdulillah since then wearing hijab. Occasionally, I dress up as well but modestly. I love wearing colored hijabs, I also apply makeup on and off but natural looking and nothing flashy so I don't end up attracting people.
I am still not perfect but the road is long and I am sure I will be there one day and hope that day comes soon insha-Allah. And by this I don't only mean hijab in terms of what I wear or what I show, it is about the renovation of the whole personality and making my faith stronger.
